October 8, 2012

I Am My Grandparents

Remember when taking pharms (I guess the kids call em “meds”now) was for recreation?

I have distant memories of being in my grandparents house and rifling through their medicine cabinets and grabbing handfuls of every drug on the shelves. When I got back home, me and my buddy Nick went through his mom’s PDR and tried to match up as many pills as we could with the pictures. The ones we couldn’t figure out, we tested on our older friend Ernesto. It was OK- he had been in the Navy, so we figured nothing could kill him.

Nowadays a walk through MY legally prescribed stash makes Elvis’s Dr. Nick period seem like Candyland. Lesseeee… we find upon quick scan… the generics for: Valium, Vicodin, Klonipon, Wellbutrin, Zoloft, Ambien, Percoset. That doesn’t include the various cold pills, decongestants, aspirins, etc. Hmm-= nothing for menopause here- I guess I have a few years for that.

 I checked with my much saner brother- and HE’s got Lipitor and three of four other blood sugar & cholesterol things in his cab.

To say that we gather and suck at the teat of big Pharma would be an understatement.

Christ- what the hell has happened to me?

Yesterday was a leisurely Sunday football day and looking back- 2 Valiums, a Zoloft, 6 Advil because my back was sore, and 2 ambiens for beddy time plus a 6 pack of Rolling Rock and a couple of tumbler fulls of Vodka.

Meds- they’re not just for breakfast anymore.

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