January 28, 2009

Don't Go Out Tonite


Mother Nature has attempted to stop us, but Dirty Pillows will ignore the snow, rain, hail, sleet and frost and rock the shit out of Brooklyn tonight.

Our promoter/guitarist wanted to have a live sex show onstage, but I told him if any skanky folks (who do not possess the last name of Pillows) attempts that kind of silliness, I will replicate Pete Townshend's response to Abbie Hoffman at Woodstock.

After, all we are artists. OK, we're not artists... In fact, I'm not even a musician... I'M A PUNK ROCKER.

Punk Rock rules, OK?

And here are my thoughts on Bruce Springsteen playing the halftime show at the Super Bowl:

WHO GIVE'S A F#CK.

An aged corporate rocker playing the most corporate party in America? Wow... now THAT'S rebellion.

Although, I would give my left nut to see him come out and play 4 dirge ballads from Nebraska, or maybe 41 Shots. Even playing Badlands would be cool. Or how about playing a silhouetted Phallic Guitar, like Prince? Or exposing Steve Van Zandt's nipple?

Please, Bruce, DO NOT play "Born In The USA"... the irony would be lost on the crowd. I know that people are actually handicapping the setlist... so here's my prediction:
Glory Days/Dancing In The Dark/Promised Land/Born To Run.

I don't care, Nazz Junior and I will be switching over to the Lingerie Bowl.

And my prediction for the game... Steelers 77 - Cardinals 10.
Give or take 70 points.

Toonage:
Bruce Springsteen - The Promised Land (live Cleveland 8-9-78)
Reel Big Fish - Sell Out
Teddy & His Patches - Suzy Creamcheese
MC5 - American Ruse

----------------
Now playing: The Slickee Boys - Theme From Exodus
via FoxyTunes

January 26, 2009

Blisters On My Fingers

This past Saturday saw not one but two band practices with different (as the kids say) projects. Considering my lack of musical ability, the concept of lil' ol' me participating with two different r 'n' r concerns is astounding and something I am truly thankful for.
It sure beat shoveling snow!

The first of these musical behemoths is the imminent return of the legendary old skool punk DIRTY PILLOWS! Yep, we put the band back together and will be playing this Wednesday, January 28 in Williamsburg, Brooklyn at Public Assembly. C'mon down if yer in the environs. Pretty please?

We're gonna do it as a benefit to raise bail money for Phish's Trey Anasatasio's next Heroin arrest or Mike Gordon's child molestation trial. Haven't decided which one yet.
And my other projection is Caterwaul Of Sound V2. We're Caterwaulizing stuff from bands as disparate as Funcadelic, Clutch, The Circle Jerks and even the Ronnettes. Pray for us.
All in all, a great way to have spent a weekend. I've got blisters on my fingers!
And, as it is raining absolute shit at my job... a welcome distraction.
Toonage:

January 20, 2009

Thank you, President Bush



Whatever your many and countless faults, failings and mistakes, we have not been attacked since 9-11-01. As a New Yorker, whatever steps you have taken to keep my family and myself safe over the past 8 years are greatly appreciated. And Good Riddance!

Godspeed to President Obama to do the same (and fix our economy, restore our world standing, end the war, etc).

Toonage:

January 19, 2009

To Serve Man




I'm giving Obama until Thursday to restore my 401K to where it was a year ago. Otherwise, this "change" thing is bullspit! I want wine to flow from the water faucets, manna to fall from the sky and disease to be eradicated! I'll give him until Friday for that.

Clearly, the stakes are high with this regime change. I saw something on CNN stating that his inauguration speech " is one of the most anticipated speeches in decades, with many expecting his words to be chiseled into marble some day."

Nope, no expectations at all!

And how long does the honeymoon period last before the bitching and moaning starts up?

I'm kinda hoping that he comes clean about Area 51. I think that would pull this country and world alot closer together if he let's on about some imminent Alien attack. Hey, it works in the movies! OK, maybe not!


Toonage:

John Lennon - Power To The People (alt verion - live)
Johnny Thunders - Blank Generation (live)
Jonathan Richman - Stop Your Sobbing (Kinks cover)
John Wayne - The Good Things
Jon Spencer Blues Explosion - History Of Lies

January 15, 2009

George W. Bush - An Appreciation



As we head into the sunset of the administration of the worst United States President ever, it is important to recognize Dubya for some of his positive accomplishments. He'll be doing it tonight on the tube, but, in the interest of fair discourse, your pal Nazz has some points he may not bring up.

Remember campers, the glass isn't always half empty, sometimes it's half full!

1) The Rapture has not occurred. Granted this is bad news to some of you. But back in the 2000 election, the big fear was that our nation's first "born-again" prez was gonna make this country the Christian Conservative center of the Universe. So far, ain't happened. Try as he might, it ain't happened! What's that you say? What's that about us being in the second coming of The Crusades?

2) Was not Commisioner of Baseball. Baseball has recovered nicely from the steroids/big market/strike scandals. If Gore would have won, there was a good chance Dubya (as a former baseball team owner) could have run baseball. In fact there still is. So I hope Bud Selig is taking his vitamins. Hey, Bush fucked up the country, but at least he left baseball alone!

3) We have not been invaded and conquered by extra-terrestrials. GWB has ensured that we are not under Saturnian or Martian or Neptunian rule since he has been in charge. Yeah sure, the Martians almost destroyed us, but thanks to Bush's "relaxed" standards on the environment, there were plenty of microscopic organisms to destroy the Martians. And we can blame the Japanese for this guy, not the good old USA!

4) As comedy is often born out of tragedy; 8 Years of great material for John Stewart, Stephen Colbert and Saturday Night Live. After all, how much mileage were they gonna get out of Al Gore (although South Park did a great show on Gore.)

5) The knowledge and security that we have seen the worst President we ever will experience. We have nowhere to go but up! (Please make him the worst ever, it can't get worse, can it?).

Toonage:
Bob Dylan - It's All Over Now, Baby Blue (live 1965 in hotel room)
Dusty Springfield - Have A Good Life, Baby
Grateful Dead - We Bid You Goodnite (live Cow Palace 1975)
Joy Division - Leaders Of Men
Mudhoney - Check Out Time

January 11, 2009

Phuck Phish


So, I see Phish are reuniting. Big Phucking deal. Although it would be phunny to see if all those old Phish-Heads pushing Phorty have showered yet.

Back in the day, I listened to a phair share of Phish (OK, I'll stop now). In the early to mid 90's; as the Grateful Dead had turned into a leaden behemoth, being crushed equally under the weight of stupor-stardom and Garcia's penchant for smack and chocolate doughnuts... I started to do the tour/collecting tapes (ask your parents) thang. After all, they were contemporaries of mine and had many of the same influences (The Who, Stones, Punk, Funk, Classic Rock). I was certainly thrilled when they broke out The Who's Quadrophenia one Halloween.

I can admit to enjoying a phew (oops sorry) of their shows, culminating in a memorable New Years Eve stand at Madison Square Garden at the end of 1994.

However, I quickly tired of them. The music constantly threatened to somehow be both pretentious and bereft of any significance. It was really annoying as well to stare at Trey's blissed out eyes-closed puss... combining equal parts self satisfaction and Heroin bliss... as well as those asshole Phish fans.

You know the ones... the Trustafarian-Wookie-Clueless-Barefoot-Neophyte-SmellyIdiots who thought they were the second coming of the sixties. They combined all the clueless, ignorant and "babe in the woods" aspects of the hippies with none of the street smarts that were needed to survive. Guess what, you NYU rich prick; showering is cool. Seeing these nit-wits walking around outside Mad Sq Garden barefoot amongst the broken glass and syringes was truly mortifying.

This culminated in a 1996 show, in which three kids high on Acid sat next to me at a show, continuously asking me to guide them through their trip. "Should I go to the bathroom?" one asked me. "Um, do you have to?" I answered. The last thing I gave a crap about was some douchebag who bought his drugs cashing in Mater and Pater's college checks.

When they played the Talking Heads' odious "Remain In Light" lp, my buddy Killer Kim said to me... "This band sucks, we can never listen to them again". A direction that I have followed ever since.

Although, I must admit, i am contemplating buying some tix for the tour and selling em for a hefty mark-up! Hey, times are tough!

Ahh, phuck it all. Here's some Punk Rock.

Toonage:

Teengenerate - Don't Come Close
Adolescents - Kids Of The Black Hole
MIA - I Hate Hippies
The Queers - If You Only Had A Brain
Vandals - People That Are Going To Hell

January 6, 2009

No Fun


Just heard that Ron Asheton of the Stooges shuffled off this mortal coil.
Asheton was certainly responsible for a whole lot of what Punk Rock became, from the signature guitar riffs of the first two Stooges rekkids and later his bass work on the Raw Power lp.
His questionable sartorial choices aside, the man was a true original.


In tribute, here's Iggy & The Stooges performing at the Azkena Rock Festival in Spain August 31st 2006. The complete show.


Toonage:
Iggy And The Stooges - 8/31/06 Azkena Rock Festival

January 3, 2009

Who Watches The Watchmen




Are you pumped? I sure am! March 6, 2009, unless the douchebags at Fox prevent it. The trailers look awesome. Zach Snyder seems to have a respect for the source material, both visually and thematically.

Nazz junior just read Watchmen for the first time and he is totally psyched as well.

The world will look up and shout "SAVE US" and I'll whisper "NO"