January 11, 2009
So, I see Phish are reuniting. Big Phucking deal. Although it would be phunny to see if all those old Phish-Heads pushing Phorty have showered yet.
Back in the day, I listened to a phair share of Phish (OK, I'll stop now). In the early to mid 90's; as the Grateful Dead had turned into a leaden behemoth, being crushed equally under the weight of stupor-stardom and Garcia's penchant for smack and chocolate doughnuts... I started to do the tour/collecting tapes (ask your parents) thang. After all, they were contemporaries of mine and had many of the same influences (The Who, Stones, Punk, Funk, Classic Rock). I was certainly thrilled when they broke out The Who's Quadrophenia one Halloween.
I can admit to enjoying a phew (oops sorry) of their shows, culminating in a memorable New Years Eve stand at Madison Square Garden at the end of 1994.
However, I quickly tired of them. The music constantly threatened to somehow be both pretentious and bereft of any significance. It was really annoying as well to stare at Trey's blissed out eyes-closed puss... combining equal parts self satisfaction and Heroin bliss... as well as those asshole Phish fans.
You know the ones... the Trustafarian-Wookie-Clueless-Barefoot-Neophyte-SmellyIdiots who thought they were the second coming of the sixties. They combined all the clueless, ignorant and "babe in the woods" aspects of the hippies with none of the street smarts that were needed to survive. Guess what, you NYU rich prick; showering is cool. Seeing these nit-wits walking around outside Mad Sq Garden barefoot amongst the broken glass and syringes was truly mortifying.
This culminated in a 1996 show, in which three kids high on Acid sat next to me at a show, continuously asking me to guide them through their trip. "Should I go to the bathroom?" one asked me. "Um, do you have to?" I answered. The last thing I gave a crap about was some douchebag who bought his drugs cashing in Mater and Pater's college checks.
When they played the Talking Heads' odious "Remain In Light" lp, my buddy Killer Kim said to me... "This band sucks, we can never listen to them again". A direction that I have followed ever since.
Although, I must admit, i am contemplating buying some tix for the tour and selling em for a hefty mark-up! Hey, times are tough!
Ahh, phuck it all. Here's some Punk Rock.
Teengenerate - Don't Come Close
Adolescents - Kids Of The Black Hole
MIA - I Hate Hippies
The Queers - If You Only Had A Brain
Vandals - People That Are Going To Hell