June 22, 2011

The Big Man


As we raise a glass to the late great Clarence Clemons, whats left of my mind drift's back to a fun evening back in the early 80's.



The Big Man had a club in Red Bank, New Joisey (if memory serves called "Big Man's West"- I wonder if there was an "East" too).

One night my sorta girlfriend and her friends were heading from our Noo Yawk (ie Forest Hills- NY- home of the Ramones- you got a problem with that?) environs to the club in NJ, as one of her friends was engaged in events of a carnal nature with some mope who was playing in a band that night. As I was in contact range, she asked if i wanted to go along, as there was a rumor that The Big Man and The Boss were going to appear and play that nite.

Your humble narrator, being Mr. Asshole Punk Rocker, wanted no part of seeing Mr. Springsteen, but went along, as the lure of a road trip, alcohol, messing with peckerheads from NJ; and a big white van proved irresistible.
Looking back on it, some of the best times of my life were because I was lured into a big white van by teenage girls with alcohol. Kids... don't try this anymore.

So we load into the van, whose driver (who we'll call "Charlie the douchebag drummer" - mainly because he was named Charlie, a drummer and a total douchebag) absolutely hated me (later discovered because he had the hots for my girl). Charlie was not thrilled to have me as a passenger, but it was sorta tough crap on him, as I, being Mr. Asshole Punk Rocker, was needed for this trip into the "swamps of Jersey" (registered tm).

So, off we go, in a big white cargo van (ie- no seats, being jostled on a 2 hour ride). The air was thick (think Cheech And Chong's "Up In Smoke") and many beverages of an adult nature were consumed. Finally, nature called, and Charlie the douchebag drummer WOULD NOT PULL OVER. At some point, I threw open the loading doors and pissed out the back; only to discover that we were flying on the New Jersey Turnpike and I was baptizing the car in back of me.

Rock n roll.

We eventually make it to "Big Man's West" and hang out drinking by the bar, ignoring the stupid band (and all things New Jersey). People in NJ were big, and despite my drunkenness, I was still sane enough to want to avoid becoming a grease smudge in a back alley.

Eventually, it's announced that St. Bruce and Clarence would be taking the stage to play a few songs. I had just thrown a couple of bucks in the jukebox (and it was probably my last 2 bucks.)

So while everyone else rushed to the stage, we hung in the bar area and listened to the Jukebox. The song playing was The Turtles' "Happy Together". After the songs played, we went over to the stage and watched Springsteen and Clarence tear the roof off the joint.

I ended up marrying that girl. Still am, in fact.

Rest In Peace, Clarence

June 14, 2011

SUCK



Old Nazz caught this movie on the telly the other note called "SUCK". If you like movies that feature cameo's by such diverse rockers as Henry Rollins, Alice Cooper, Moby, Iggy Pop and Alex fucking Lifeson; then this flick's for you.

The plot of Suck is about a shitty Canadian band that has to decide whether turning Vampire is a good career path to rock n roll stardom. Their are overt references to the old "Crossroads" Robert Johnson tale, with Alice Cooper as Satan (or a reasonable facsimile). The other cameo's are a little more out of character. And watch for Malcolm McDowell as "Eddie Van Helsing".



Hey, Suck ain't gonna win any Academy Awards, but I'd rather see the hot chick in the film "vamp out" than watch Meryl Streep suck face with Dustin Hoffman (or something) any old time.

As an added bonus, watch for all of the rock n roll references - both audio and visual.

Suck has been making the rounds on cable, and it's highly recommended.

June 13, 2011

Serenity Now, Insanity Later



Hey Nazz, since you are frustrated and unfulfilled in your job... why don't you just get another one?

Of course! Why didn't I think of that!!!!!!!!

Count to 10, slowly.



Download:

Very calming music (it's a surprise)

June 11, 2011

My Name Is Legion



BWM (Beached White Male) is a new term for the “displaced” increasing number of Americans who are largely over 35 and either unemployed or working at jobs that are paying a fraction of what they used to make. The other day, as I was at my first med exam in over a year (now that my crappy paying job at least has good health benefits), my Dr. actually had a copy of Newsweek on the exam room table describing this phenomenon.

per the article:
"Through the first quarter of 2011, nearly 600,000 college-educated white men ages 35 to 64 were unemployed, according to previously unpublished Labor Department stats. That’s more than 5 percent jobless—double the group’s pre-recession rate. That might not sound bad compared with the plight of younger, less-educated workers and minorities, but it’s a historic change from the last recession, when about half as many lost their oxford shirts. The number of college-educated men unemployed for at least a year is five times higher today than after the dotcom bubble. In New York City, men in the 35-to-54 kill zone have lost jobs faster than any other group, including teenage girls, according to new data from the Fiscal Policy Institute."

Seems I’m not the only one freaking out about low pay and dwindling prospects. Meanwhile, as I went to pay my deductible, there was a Pharmacy Company rep at the receptionist’s desk, buying lunch for everyone (something that happens 15 times a month, apparently).

Because, that’s where the money is… in pushing drugs to Doctors… who then in turn get US hooked.

Meanwhile, it’s a game of ruses at home; trying to keep the bill collectors at bay (that’s got to be a terrible job, calling people up for unpaid bills) and projecting an air of nonchalance to the kids. I crunched the numbers, and, we’re looking at a huge plunge into the red over the next 18 months. And we have always lived very economically, no vacations, no outlandish spending. Which is a relief, since our somewhat frugal lifestyle has resulted at least in savings to burn.  According to a survey, over half the familys in the U.S. of A. have less than $2000 in the band in case of an emergency.

Of course, Princess Nomad is starting college in another year and we’re gonna have squat to offer in terms of $$$ for tuition.

None of this was in the “middle class white guy brochure” I was given as a teenager, that’s for sure.

The American Dream is now a Pharmaceutical aided coma (so states Captain Obvious).






June 9, 2011

This Is Not A Song Of Hope


But it sure makes me feel better.
   Celebrate the ugly things... cause all the beauty's fucking gone



SOMETIMES IT'S SIMPLE THINGS THAT MAKE IT HARD
SPOILED BABY T's WITH CREDIT CARDS
OVERTIME ALWAYS ON MY MIND
COULD HAVE BEENS EAT AWAY INSIDE NOW

PRAISE GOD AND PASS THE BOTTLE OF BEAM

BECAUSE TONIGHT I CAN'T SEEM TO SAY WHAT I MEAN
DON'T KNOW IF I WOULD, EVEN IF I COULD, AMEN

SOMEHOW THIS SEEMS LIKE BORROWED TIME

PAY IT NO MIND, EVERYTHING IS FINE
BUT SOMETIMES I'D RATHER HEAR LAUGHTER
WHILE THIS WHOLE PLACE DIED.

A JOHNNY JUMP-UP IS A LOVELY THING

A PINT OF CIDER AND SOME WHISKEY
I HAD FOUR DEAD INSIDE OF ME
JUST TO HEAR THIS JACKASS SING HIS LINE ABOUT
HOW HE USED TO HANG OUT SOMEWHERE "BACK IN THE DAY"
KNOWING TERMS ONLY AN ASSHOLE WOULD SAY
SO I SAT THERE DRINKING MORE

THINKING ABOUT DRINKING MORE

NELSON ALGREN
CAME TO ME
AND SAID CELEBRATE THE UGLY THINGS
THE BEAT UP SIDE OF WHAT THEY CALL PRIDE
COULD BE THE MEASURE OF THESE DAYS

GOD SAVE
OTIS REDDING BECAUSE I KNOW HE'S NEVER GONE
AS SICK FALLS FROM THIS MOUTH HEAR ME SING IT WRONG
IS IT "CIGARETTES AND COFFEE" NOW OR DREAMS TO BE REMEMBERED
I'LL LEAVE REGRETS FOR DEAD AND SING ALONG

SO I'M REACHING FOR THE PHONE, I DON'T WANT TO BE ALONE

I WANT TO GET SOME FRIENDS HERE TONIGHT
I GOT A BASEMENT FULL OF BOOZE AND SOME BLUES TO LOSE
I'LL IGNORE THE WHOLE WORLD TONIGHT
IT WILL BE ALRIGHT 


Toonage:
Dillinger Four - Doublewhiskeycokenoice

Buy Dillinger Four stuff here

June 7, 2011

June 1, 2011

Stiff Little Fingers

Going to see Stiff Little Fingers in some shithole Polish disco in Hipsterville Brooklyn that my band has actually played. It's sad that they have to take the same stage that we disgraced.

Stiff Little Fingers were the shit to me. Growing up... seeing them during the Nobody's Heroes Tour in NYC in '81 or so. Their songs were part of the beat that kept my heart pumping.


 A Pale (but tanned) Copy

When I finally got my own band, the first song I sang myself was "Wasted Life". If they play "Johnny Was", I might break down. I'm attending with my buddy Dave (reference the song "Thick As Thieves" from The Jam for a full decryption of THAT relationship.)
 
He's actually my last living usher from my wedding. The four of us: Me, Dave, Kim, Vin... and now only Dave and I left. A bike accident and an aneurysm... and then there were two,,, probably the two that the smart money would have been on croaking first.


The Real Thing 



report on show- they fucking rocked it- they played everything much faster and harder versions than on any of their live output- maybe because original bass player ali mcmordie is in the band again?
and the couple of hundred fuckers who were there knew every fucking word of every fucking song. which was extremely heartening to have a 90 minute singalong.
they concentrated mostly on the "Nobody's Heroes" album. a definite greatest hits show- the newest thing they did was the joe strummer tribute "strummerville". although i gotta admit that jake burns is looking a bit william shatner-ish these days. but who isn't?
(from a show earlier in tour)- Suspect Device