September 4, 2012

You Cannot Petition The Lord With Prayer

I was sitting in my driveway, reading a graphic novel, having a beer and trying to blot out the horrors of the week.

 No one ever sits in their driveway in my neighborhood. Backyards are for commiserating with the outdoors, and the only time one is in one’s driveway is for car related entering and exiting and sporadic car washings. Or the basketball hoop.

But the mosquito's were too much to deal with in the backyard.

So, I was not too keen on the guy moseying up the street. His body odor preceded him by about 10 feet (granted, it was a hot day). He had the look of a vet from the Columbia U 1970 demonstrations. 40 years later of course. Thin and gaunt. Wearing tan khaki. All that was missing was the peace sign.

 Peace signs I have plenty of.

Got em on my car and a bunch hanging from the tree in front of my house. That plus the Ramones flag and Day-Glo painted pillars kinda give away my political leanings.

 And... he had a clipboard and was smiling.

 I’ve learned the hard way to avoid clipboards and smiles. 

“Hi how are you doing” 
 “I’m doing great, but I got no money for you”.

 He explained that he was from the Working Families Party. They’re a pro-union organization (the good unions- not the fucking moron unions that support the Repugnikkkans). They do good work.

 “That’s great pal, I’ve voted for your candidates”. 

I try to vote on alternate party lines, as long as the Democrats also support the candidate. That usually means I’m voting Green or Liberal or some other alt party. That way, the alt party gets to stay on the ballot in future elections.

 The guy starts telling me alot of stuff that I already know and I say-
“Hey pal, I’ll sign your petitions, but I got no money for you. 

 So, blah blah blah we really need your support and money and blah blah blah we REALLY need your money ensues. Now, in a way, am I failing to help “the good fight”. ?

Yeah sure... but that $10 could go to a couple of six packs of cheap shitty beer. And at the end of the day, that 12 pack of cheap shitty beer is going to be alot more beneficial to me than the donation would.

 I said something to the effect that I hate the Repugnikkkans and I was hoping the hurricane would kill them all in Tampa and thus take care of the problem.

 This offended my gentle friend who responded “Well, we don’t want anyone to die of course”.

That’s when the rubber hit the road. 

 My gentle friend then proceeds about all sorts of peace stuff and revolution through protest. He also points out my many peace signs.


 I responded “Hey pal, these fuckers are like roaches, you gotta kill em all or they’ll come back for more. It’s kill or be killed”.

 That pretty much ended the “meeting”.

 I signed a couple of petitions, once again turning down his solicitation of a donation.

 He went back to knocking on doors in our very GOP neighborhood,
and I went back to my beer.


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Jerm said...

love it! i think i'll be just like you in the near future! or hope too! we have some of the same background , i am younger, but almost there!

justin said...

Hahaha...nice write up. I don't envy any kind of door to door adventures, randomly inserting yourself into someone else's time line. The chance encounters on the streets is plenty. Like the graphic novel you're reading, thanx to you I've read the entire series, found them as cbr's online. Been buying them since issue 100.