Go Big Blue! Patriots suck!

New York is all abuzz with the Giants unlikely run towards (hopefully) Super Bowl glory. It'll be a tough job however. The Gay-Triots and Tom (pussy-fuck ) Brady have been (albiet slightly) bloodied but unbowed this season. But you knew that already.

How can anyone root for New England? They've won enough lately. Between the Pats and the Sawx, it seems that all championships are routed through Beantown this century.
Hey, New York can use a break. Between the Cloverfield monster destroying Manhattan, the Yankees steroid scandal and the Mets' choke, we're due for a big win.

And look at the asshole duo of Presidential candidates we've sported: Rudy "Mr. exploit 9-11" Giuliani and Hillary "Plastic Bitch" Clinton. Makes you long for the days of Tricky Dick Nixon.

I am predicting a Giants upset Sunday. 30-23 (that way my numbers hit in my box pool and I make big bucks too). Randy Moss is gonna develop short arms after being smacked down over the middle a couple of times. Tom Brady will actually menstruate on the field and the Big Blue defense will piss all over the previously undefeated Gay-Triots. Brandon Jacobs will stomp the Gay-Triots' defense into bone shards. And Eli will forever be known as just "Eli" (no last names needed) and become the greatest Manning of all. Suck it Peyton.

LET'S GO GIANTS!!!!!!
Here's music from the Ramones. Because the Ramones are from NYC and NYC kicks ass.

TOONAGE:
Ramones - I Believe In Miracles (live last tour)
Ramones - Too Tough To Die (demo with Dee Dee on lead vox)
Joey Ramone - I Wanna Be Sedated (solo acoustic)
Ramones - Nothings Gonna Change The Shape Of Things To Come (outtake)
Ramones - Carbona Not Glue

Shatner - Nuff Said

You know, before I answer any more questions there's something I wanted to say. Having received all your letters over the years, and I've spoken to many of you, and some of you have traveled... y'know... hundreds of miles to be here,

I'd just like to say... GET A LIFE, will you people?

I mean, for crying out loud, it's just a TV show! I mean, look at you, look at the way you're dressed! You've turned an enjoyable little job, that I did as a lark for a few years, into a COLOSSAL WASTE OF TIME!

I mean, how old are you people? What have you done with yourselves?

You,you must be almost 30; have you ever kissed a girl? I didn't think so!

There's a whole world out there!

When I was your age, I didn't watch TV!

I LIVED!

So... move out of your parent's basements! And get your own apartments and GROW THE HELL UP! I mean, it's just a TV show dammit,

IT'S JUST A TV SHOW!

The first viral site is up for the forthcoming Star Trek flick. This is gonna be the one that shows the early days of the Kirk/Spock love affair. I am hoping for a lot of hot guy on guy action. Phasers on stun indeed.
As the movie is gonna be directed by JJ Abrams (Lost, Cloverfield, etc), there are high expectations that the movie will not suck.
However, the movie will not star WILLIAM SHATNER. This is sad news as this is WILLIAM SHATNER'S world and we just live in it.
Has anyone conquered stage, literature, screen and music in quite the same way that WILLIAM SHATNER has?
His early roles in Roger Corman quickies to his classic two turns in Twilight Zone episodes to the mack daddy of Outer Space himself.
The lean 70's years where he played the father in Go Ask Alice and his Promise Margerine commercials. And of course his starring turns in Kingdom Of The Spiders and The Devil's Rain.
His rebirth in the 80's as TJ Hooker and the second coming of Captain Kirk.
And his 90's - aughts dominance as a writer, vocalist and TV star.

WILLIAM SHATNER- the man, the legend. There will never be another.

Toonage:
William Shatner - Common People (w/ Joe Jackson)
William Shatner - Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds
Furious George - Phaser On Ten
R.E.M. - Where's Captain Kirk
The Mummies - Doin' The Kirk

Airwaves dreaming

"I like radio better than television because if you make a mistake on radio, they don't know. You can make anything up on radio."

Phil Rizzuto

"Anytime in radio that you can reach somebody on an emotional level, you're really connecting."

Casey Kasem

"I love the fact that 35 years later, I still hear my songs on the radio."

Ronnie Spector

"The radio makes hideous sounds"

Bob Dylan

Long ago, bands used to need radio airplay to expose their music to the masses. There are dozens of songs that reflect this. Here are a few you may not have that come to mind...

We Want The Airwaves - Spooney (Gabba Gabba Heys) :

I absolutely love the concept of the Ramones being packaged for the kindergarten set; complete with children singing in the background! When my progeny were tots, one of their favorite movies was Rock N Roll High School. This one is from an album called "Brats On The Beat: Ramones For Kids".

Radio Radio - Beastie Boys w/ Elvis Costello (Live Saturday Nite Live) : The legendary performance when the Beasties came out and started to play Sabotage and Elvis recreated his 1978 SNL performance.

Capital Radio - The Clash (live 5-28-77 UK) : The sound of a revolution. Revolutions don't always succeed.

You Can't Say Crap On The Radio- Stiff Little Fingers : A criminally underrated band.

Do You Remember Rock N Roll Radio - Ni-Hao! : Another Ramones cover, I think these chicks are from Japan or Viet Nam. This song cracks me up.

Of Monsters, Giants, and a King

Saw Cloverfield over the weekend and it certainly rocked. It's done as a videotape that one of the characters shoots during an attack on NYC (where else!) by some sort of monster. As it is supposed to be an amateur video, it falls in and out of focus and the picture is shaky, but the concept really makes it seem that you are involved in the action. There is one scene that takes place in a helicopter that is really freaky.

I wish however, that everyone would stop beating up on NY. Between this and I Am Legend, the Big Apple has taken more than it's share of hit's lately. There is one scene that echoes 9-11 very eerily. Here's hoping the next movie takes out Boston. I'd like to see Fenway Park melt under the next alien death ray. Or something.

A happier event in NY is that the Giants are going to the freakin' Super Bowl! I was supposed to be at the game at the Frozen Tundra in Green Bay last nite, but things fell apart. And, upon reflection, that was a good thing. It looked unbearably cold and the cardiac arrests provided by Big Blue woulda killed me. Holy crap! Eli and Plaxico and the G-men defense put a hurtin' on Brett Favre and the Cheeseheads and now it's on to the Super Bowl! It would be nice to knock off the Patriots and destroy their season, especially after the Red Sawx have bitch-slapped the Yankees around the last few years.

And today is Martin Luther King day. As Bill and Ted said: "Be excellent To Each Other". Racism and other hate-isms sucks. Unless it's anti-Boston.

Toonage:

NOFX - Don't Call Me White

Rancid - Don't Call Me White

Minor Threat - Guilty Of Being White (demo)

Slayer - Guilty Of Being White

Stiff Little Fingers - White Noise

My Beard of Shame

“We have now for many centuries triumphed over nature to the extent of making certain secondary characteristics of the male such as the beard disagreeable to nearly all the females

- and there is more in that than you might suppose"
... C.S. Lewis

I've worn a goatee (or whatever you call that 'stashe and chin hair thang) for the past few years. It seemed that all the cool kids were doing it (or something like that) back in the halcyon days of the early aughts and I kept it. As an added bonus, it's a real pleasure watchin' the grey replacing the black as the years progress.

A month or so ago I got lazy and decided to grow the whole thing out, much to the distaste of the missus as well as my corporate overlords. Which, of course are two good reasons to keep it growin'.

It's never really gotten much past that nice "dirty" looking phase... the stage where it just looks like I forgot about personal hygiene. That, along with the hoodie that I don whilst riding the rails generally ensures that people leave me the f&ck alone on my commute and tend to be unwilling to sit next to me unless they have no other recourse. It also helps that most of the time I am glaring at my fellow cattle.

I think I'm gonna keep it for a while, the missus thinks it makes me look older, but others have said it makes me looks younger.

On a related note, I have recently noticed that I no longer get carded when entering bars. It used to be such a pain in the ass since I thought I was being singled out and hassled. Now I kinda miss it. That and being offered help to cross the street by those pesky boy scouts is really bugging me.

So, in light of this totally self indulgent post (as if there are any other kinds!), I present the following toonage:


Toonage:

Lagwagon - Razor Burn
The Pixies - Ain't That Pretty At All
ZZ Top - Squank
Sham 69 - Angels With Dirty Faces
Pansy Division - The Summer You Let Your Hair Grow Out

Cry Baby Cry

What a beautiful football game Sunday night. The Giants kicked the crap out of the Cowgirl's and now it's on to the frozen tundra of Lambeau Field. The Cowboys went down quicker than Jessica Simpson does on her loser QB boyfriend.

At this point, it's all gravy for the G-Men.

Aside from being the reason that President Kennedy's dead and the main city of the state our Prez is from; Dallas will now be known as the place where grown men cry like little pussy's.

Seeing Terrell Owens weep like a little bitch in the post game interview was the cherry on the sundae. I eagerly await his next "overdose" of painkillers.

Toonage:

Gay Cowboys In Bondage - Domestic Battlefield

The Cure - Boys Don't Cry (acoustic version)

The Beatles - Cry Baby Cry (alternate version)

Stiff Little Fingers - Bloody Sunday

X - Blue Spark

Top Ten of 2007 (or something)

All the cool kids are doing it, so I’ll pipe in. Here’s my Top Ten for 2007.

1. The Spirit Of Radio – Rush : Because this is the best song EVERY YEAR!
2. Don’t Stop Believin’ – Petra Haden: The most suspenseful 10 minutes of fiction on TV in years was whether Tony Soprano was gonna eat lead. And then the perfect Punk Rock ending… a cut to black. This is a great version of the song that served as The Soprano’s coda. Besides, I fucking hate Journey. I mean, I really fucking hate Journey. I hate Journey more than I hate the Red Sox. And I really hate the fucking Red Sox.
3. The Way It Is – Nicole Atkins : Dusty Springfield in Memphis updated for the post apocalyptic world. Or Brooklyn. Ah, what's the diff between em anyway. Just beautiful. Buy her album here!
4. Pull Shapes – The Pipettes : Yeah, its manufactured sugar coated girl group pop. But if I have to lust after some British birds, it’s gonna be these whitebread Ronettes, not the slag heap Spice Girls. An eightball, some ether, The Pipettes and a room in Vegas would be very interesting.
   
5. The Decline – NOFX : Because this gets more relevant every year. The soundtrack of the GW Bush era.
6. Good Times Bad Times – Led Zeppelin (live O2 arena December 12, 2007) – Because the only thing that would’ve been met with more anticipation and demand was gonna be if Jesus H. Christ rose from the dead and sold tickets through a lottery for salvation. Whether or not it sucked is irrelevant.
   
7. Almost Ready – Dinosaur Jr.: The recorded reunion of the year. Noise is for heroes. And sloppy guitar rules, OK?
8. Gypsy Biker – Bruce Springsteen: This song haunts me. It's about time he wrote a good song.
   
9. Hold Tight - Dave Dee, Dozy, Beaky, Mick & Titch: Because Tarantino is the king of movie soundtracks. And that fuzz tone is wild and wiggy. And this was released like 44 years ago originally and sounds fresher than douchebags like The Bravery.
   
10. Girlfriend – Fuck-Punk Lavigne : Because it doesn’t get any more dishonest and contrived than this. I hope her fucking head explodes on national TV. The perfect song for this reprehensible century. My wish is for her to star in the remake of “2 girls one cup” with Rosie O’Donnell.

Big Blue Comes Through

I happily attended the Giants / Bucs play-off game Sunday and enjoyed the thrashing that Big Blue gave to the locals. Aside from the pain of a 6 am Sunday morning flight outta NYC, a good time was had.
There were probably about 10% of the crowd rooting for the Giants (and dressed in Giants gear). We took some good natured ribbing before the game as we traipsed through the parking lots. Predictably, after the game, the abuse got alot nastier. But that's OK, we kicked ass.
With the weather in the high 70's, it seemed somewhat incongruous to be at a football playoff game. The temp shoulda been below freezing, but there's something to be said for scantily clad cheerleaders gyrating 20 rows in front of ya!
I'll give the Bucs props for kick ass tunes also. Plenty of AC/DC and Led Zep during those endless TV time-outs. And seeing those cheerleaders dancin' to The Ocean is a good thing.
Had a fun tailgate before the game sponsored by a local sports bar. I was introduced to the dubious benefits of "The IcePick". A lethal concoction of Vodka, Ice Tea, Lemonade and Tonic. However, the last three ingredients were entirely optional, so these 20 ounce monsters were pretty much straight vodka plus ice.
In honor of the Giants' victory, here's some apropos musical offerings:

Toonage:
Led Zeppelin - The Ocean (Live San Francisco 1973)
Replacements - Swinging Party (Live NYC)
The Cramps - Eyeball In My Martini
Motorhead and The Damned - Ballroom Blitz
Swingin' Neckbreakers - I Live For Buzz

A Blast from the Past

So, outta the cyber-blue, I get an email from an old friend from whom I haven't heard from in many years. What blew me away was the following:

"you are largely responsible for my having decent taste in music all these years."

She mentioned that I used to foist the good stuff upon her (ie: bands like the Replacements and Minutemen and Husker Du, etc).

Considering that she worked for record companies for many years, the preceding sentiment was awesome. Allowing for the trickle down theory, and that perhaps in some small way I infuenced her decisons for band promotion; it could very well be that I am responsible for the entire 90's alternative music movement!

OK, that might be a very long leap of faith.

But it was a real kick to hear that "for better or worse" I was a "significant part" of how someone developed their musical tastes.

Certainly it was the best message I have gotten in many a moon.

So, it got me thinking of the "old days" and has inspired me to post the following.

Toonage:

Husker Du - Makes No Sense At All

Minutemen- History Lesson Part 2

World Party - All The Young Dudes (Mott The Hoople cover)

Replacements - Unsatisfied

Robyn Hitchcock - I Wanna Go Backwards

Howard Jones - No One Is To Blame (acoustic)

Better Things

Here's wishing you the bluest sky,
And hoping something better comes tomorrow.
Hoping all the verses rhyme,
And the very best of choruses to
Follow all the doubt and sadness.
I know that better things are on the way.

Here's hoping all the days ahead
Won't be as bitter as the ones behind you.
Be an optimist instead,
And somehow happiness will find you.
Forget what happened yesterday,
I know that better things are on the way.

It's really good to see you rocking out
And having fun,
Living like you just begun.
Accept your life and what it brings.
I hope tomorrow you'll find better things.
I know tomorrow you'll find better things.

Here's wishing you the bluest sky,
And hoping something better comes tomorrow.
Hoping all the verses rhyme,
And the very best of choruses to
Follow all the drudge and sadness.
I know that better things are on the way.

I know you've got a lot of good things happening up ahead.
The past is gone it's all been said.
So here's to what the future brings,
I know tomorrow you'll find better things.
I know tomorrow you'll find better things.

Toonage:
Fountains Of Wayne - Better Things (Kinks cover)
Husker Du - Everything Falls Apart