February 10, 2009

Worried Man Blues

"Cause now your 35 and workin' in a warehouse/
because you spent your college money on cocaine"

Sorry Mom And Dad - The Vandals




Those kids were the smart ones. I spent 5 years in college (OK- 5 1/2, but who's counting) when I should have been in fucking trade school learning to be a plumber or an electrician instead of a white collar corporate asshole.


My reward? Constant stress over keeping my head while all others around me lose theirs. And, as as an extra added one time, never before offered on tv, special bonus; I get to also freak about other people's lives.


Because the real murderers NEVER get dirty, they get scumbags like me to follow their orders.



We're all fucked. As bad as things are right now, they are gonna get a fuckload worse. A fuckload as big as Rosie O'Donnell's ass.


Up until this past month, we've been training to get in the ring with Mike Tyson circa 1986. It was all conceptual... Hey, we'll go in the ring and get hit a couple of times, go down, it'll be unpleasant and then we'll be back to normal. With a pocketful of green dead president's to heal our wounds.


Guess what... We just took the rib shot that Michael Spinks got ... The only problem is... There's no count-out, no 8 second standing count, and no 3 minute rounds. It's a steel cage death match, and no way out. We're just gonna keep getting hit and hit again, until our blood is all over the ring, our teeth are knocked out, and we're all punch drunk, wandering the streets looking for a handout.



Toonage:

Woody Guthrie - Pretty Boy Floyd
Poor Bob - Ain't Got A Lousy Dime
Dead Kennedys - Kill The Poor (demo)
X- So Long (It's Been Good To Know Yuh)

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Now playing: Arlo Guthrie - City Of New Orleans
via FoxyTunes

3 comments:

Andrew Weiss said...

The owner of the supermarket I used to work at bet the story on that fight. Unfortunately, he bet against Tyson.

There have been more than times recently when I wish I'd passed on the liberal arts degree and became an auto mechanic.

YankeeBoy said...

If I could do it all over again I think I'd go to umpire school. How cool it would be to be able to piss off a whole stadium full of people and be able to thumb my nose at them and be totally within my rights.

Nicotine Jones said...

As a recently "deselected" salesperson, it's not so bad. I'm already practicing "you want fries with that?" so I'm prepared for one of the better jobs out there. Try not to stress over things you can't control, dude. Just hope for the best and plan for the worst. And never forget, you are just a number and should look out for yourself and your family, not the corporation...