October 6, 2008
If The Thunder Don't Get You...
Hey kiddies, here's some advice from yer Uncle Nazz.
Don't take your sleeping pills until AFTER you get home!
Unlike what I did last nite, which was to pop an Ambien before I began my drive home from band practice. I figgered it would kick in right after I got home.
However, I did not take into account my empty stomach OR traffic. Which resulted in me driving the last highway stretch with one eye shut tight since I was seeing double! Additionally, I overshot my driveway and knocked over some flower pots. This morning, I was picking flower petals out of my car's front grill.
How ironic that now that I am on the straight and narrow, I still can't avoid these types of mishaps. At least I used to have the excuse of booze and other things that warn you to stay away from large machinery.
These days, it's nothing but good intentions.
I have been sober for 5 weeks and 2 days. That's 37 days with nothing but Dr. prescribed meds coursing through my bloodstream. No booze. No nothing. And that's despite being in several environments with open bars as well as band practices where intoxicants have been known to flow freely. And I haven't felt the urge to partake at all. No meetings. No higher power. No soul searching sessions. I just say no. Yeah, that's it. Just say no.
Do I feel better? Well, I certainly have gotten my shit together with-out the "self-medicating". I've (as the experts say) "levelled-out". The difference in my personality is certainly apparent to my family and co-workers. Between what's going on in work, and the country as a whole, this past month would have had me normally on the bender from hell. Can you say "nu-cu-lar"?
And I am down close to 20 lbs due to the lack of alcohol and a serious loss of appetite.
It still bothers me that I had to make such a major change in my life... but I find I respond better with "all or nothing" decisions better. As my buddy said "you were a professional for decades, it's time to retire and let the young ones play".
Or something.
We'll see how this goes...
Bookage:
Iggy Pop - Open Up And Bleed
Toonage:
NOFX - Getting High On The Down Low
Crucial Youth - I'm Straight
Jeff Buckley - Grace (Live WNEW radio)
Buzzcocks - Boredom (Live 1977)
Minor Threat - Straight Edge (demo)
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Now playing: The Fuzztones - 1-2-5
via FoxyTunes
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8 comments:
Hey Nazz, glad you made it home ok.
Hang in there Nazz. If you can make it through these troubled times straight then you really have got your shit together!
The first few months are going to be the hardest. I don't know the circumstances behind your choice, but it's easier to handle when you begin doing it for yourself, and not others.
>13 yrs here
I deeply admire anyone who can do this without having to resort to prayer and higher powers. Too bad Bush couldn't; he just became a dry drunk when Jeebus helped him.
I'm probably gonna go dry for purely economic reasons. Can't afford good beer much longer and I won't drink shit beer. Gonna be a long winter. But I'll lose some weight.
Hang in there, Nazz!
Good luck. XO
Best wishes for your continued sobriety and good health. How did you like "Open Up and Bleed"?
the iggy book is certainly a cautionary tale!
I get a kick out of all your sharing and comments. Ambien is one intense drug. I should know - basically I have to take it every night to offset the effects of the Oxycodone and Lyrica the doctors have me on for my Degenerative Spinal Disease (not quite as bad as it sounds apart from a major surgery or two) and Chronic Pain Syndrome (worse than it sounds - constant agonizing assault on the nerves in my Thoracic area - I call it Thoracic Park when I have a sense of humor)...Needless to say, this potpourri of medications is horrible but it beats being one step shy of crippled - and the Ambien is pretty great for wild dreams if nothing else. I accidentally ran out one night and took Lunestra (sp?) instead and had the most bizarre dreams imaginable - now THAT stuff is scary! Stay sober - I wish I had the chance...these illnesses have killed any love for drugs or alcohol I once might have had...
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